I’m ready, God. Where are we going next?
I have an awesome job. On a typical day, I interact with hundreds of people, am not chained to a desk, and have great freedom in how I structure my day. I’ve been at the same job for 10 years now and there’s comfort and reward in the familiarity and competency I feel in my work. I’ve worked hard over the past decade and it’s very gratifying to live into that success. I’m really good at what I do. Sounds perfect, right? It really just about is. But, God is on the move. He’s working on something great for me. I feel this stirring of the Holy Spirit that it is time to move on. To where? I have no idea. I was on the computer at 5:30 this morning combing the web looking at job postings. Why is that? I don’t even know what I’m looking for!
I’ve felt this stirring in my soul for the past few months that was so subtle at first that I didn’t really acknowledge it as anything. Like a flutter of a thought that would leave my mind as quickly as it arrived. A comment about something I’m good at that I reflected on a little longer than usual. A personal interest in a colleague’s new position that I normally may not have even given a second thought about. It’s a yearning for something new; a curiosity about what could be next. I have no idea what defines ‘next.’ I’m not even at the point of actively looking for a change because I don’t know what I’m looking for. It’s about being open. God is full of surprises, and in this case, his plans may be completely unexpected. I need to listen. I need to pay attention. I have experienced first-hand the power of God using other people to guide me in my decision making, so I am fully present when conversations arise, as I believe they contain messages I need to hear.
I do know this. I love my work. I love that what I do has value. I love the people. I love my freedom. I love the personal difference I make in people’s lives. I love that I daily see that success. There’s very little angst, and what frustrations I do have for certain people or situations, they’re known frustrations. It’s comfortable. I know the grass isn’t always greener, so I don’t enter into this lightly. But, I believe God wants to take me out of my comfort zone and challenge me. He wants to stretch me with new coworkers, a new setting, new experiences. He wants me to be uncomfortable. He wants me to be humbled to not have all of the answers and to go through that learning curve.
For now, I will bloom where I’m planted, but will seek to listen with intention and look for messages in the seemingly ordinary. I will continue to find joy in the ‘new’ that’s still found in my 10-year-old job and not be drawn into a state of complacency. I am blessed by this time of reflection and thanksgiving. Perhaps, at this moment, that’s the very place he wants me to be.